Normal?

I have been to many funerals and mourned the loss of those I love dearly. I have lost two grandparents of my own, a (step) grandmother, a grandmother of my husband, a cousin (cousin's husband) of my husband, an aunt of my husband, and I have seen tragedy strike with the death of a classmate/co-worker. I've attended many others, but these are the ones that stand out right now. Each of them saddened my heart and affected me in one way or another. In that list, are people that I think about often and miss very much.

That being said, yesterday was one of the hardest funerals I've ever had to attend. My heart hurt so much for myself, for my family, and for all of Drew's friends. But as I held onto my husband's arm. I could almost feel his pain too. I have seen Justin hurt before, but not like yesterday. His love for Drew was deep, and so is his pain. Justin and I had the honor of picking out Drew's final clothing. And while it was hard, it was also something we were happy to do for him. Justin also had the honor of helping to carry Drew to his final resting place...something that I know was extremely hard for him. I know that the healing must now start and that it will be a long process. I pray that God sends us comfort, but I am also saying extra prayers for God to give me the strength I need to help my husband heal.

This past week, my household was far from "normal." It was filled with dread for what we had to do on Saturday. It was busy while we prepared for company. It was excited when we finally got snow. It was broken hearted, yet filled with laughter from the memories that were shared. But now, my household, and many others who had similar weeks, must get back to "normal." Brody still doesn't know that Drew is gone. We decided that we will talk about it when he brings him up. While that may not be the best way to deal with it, that's how we decided to handle it. He was sheltered this weekend, while the rest of us said our goodbyes. I just don't know the words to say yet. However, Drew's truck was brought to our house today. It will be parked here for a little while. I haven't seen it out there yet and neither has Brody. But when we back out of the garage to leave in the morning, it will be there. I don't know if he will recognize it. I guess tomorrow will answer that question...