Education

I'm a teacher.  I believe in life long learning.  If people stopped learning, ignorance and intolerance would run the world, even more than they do now.   I was blessed in school because it always came easy to me.  I never really struggled (except geography...I am severely geographically challenged, but that's what GPS and Iphone maps are for right?) But now, I'm trying to learn something that is totally new to me. So, at 28, I have found a subject that baffles me like no other....The Bible!

I have recently found a church that I actually feel comfortable in and look forward to attending.  I have never felt "at home" in church and it is wonderful to finally feel that way.  But I'm Bible stupid! I don't have verses memorized, I don't know people or places, and I have never been so confused in my life!  There is a lot more I have going on with this whole church thing, but I'll save that for another blog.  This one is going to focus on my lack of knowledge :)

Here's what I know in my own dumbed down version: God created it all...he's number uno! He decided that Jesus should enter somewhere and he had a virgin give birth to Him.  Jesus was a TEACHER :) and spread God's word,  taking quite a bit of flack for it, I believe.  Throw in some disciples somewhere (no clue where, who, or when). And the biggie...Jesus died for me and my sins (something that I still can't wrap my head around), and now He sits right next to God in Heaven.  If I want to join them, I have to believe in Him and work toward it. And that's about it!

I told you it was dumbed down ;) I wasn't lying! I don't think that being able to spout verses and facts from the Bible makes you a good Christian or guarantees a spot upstairs. Nor does sitting in church every Sunday because "that's what you're supposed to do," but I would like to know more. I like to learn.  So here I am, starting on idiot level, I'm not even to beginner yet.  And I'm ok with that, because I have to start somewhere.  So that being said....I need a few things: 1-a Bible that I can actually read (suggestions would be nice) 2-support for when I get frustrated (I'm not worried about this one) and 3-teachers...and beware: teachers make horrible students, so it will probably be a challenge!

Psych 101

I've said many times that facebook seriously makes me want to puke or just blow my head off and be done.  What does that say about me?  I'm happy that people are happy and everyone deserves to be happy.  I don't wish anything bad on anyone.  But all that happiness makes me want to slice open my wrists and just bleed out...sorry to be so graphic! (And no, this isn't a cry for help.  I don't like pain, just making a point.)

So let's play "Diagnose Annie" 

Question: What is wrong with me???

A) I'm lacking the "giddy" gene?  I've never been Polly Positive, so am I Negative Nancy?  I just try to be realistic...and reality isn't all that pretty. Haha! This takes me back to my phrase...inhale positive and exhale negative!  I've really got to work on that one!

B) I'm just jealous of people who brag about how wonderfully super and beyond fantastic their life is?  Am I that miserable in my own life?  NO! I have the best son ever (in my opinion). My husband is my best friend and we have a great time together. I have the greatest friends on the planet and my family is awesome! I don't think this one is it either.

C) I'm not the only one that feels this way...this is the one I hope you all pick ;)

D) I'm just a crazy ball of emotions and have no clue what direction my life is going, therefore people who seem to have it all together make me question my very existence. And I've gotten wrapped up in this crazy, drama-filled world and I just need to step back and re-evaluate things.

I said from the beginning that I am at a point in my life that I'm really trying to figure things out and this is just one of my "issues" that needs addressed! I hope people don't think I'm just a miserable old hag that hates everyone that is happy...that's not at all what I mean.  I just want to understand why some happiness brings me joy and some brings me anger?!?

I've got to learn to let go and just "give it to God." How do I learn to do that? I have to learn how to give it all to Him...the good, the bad, and everything in between.

Decorating

There are some words that inspire me, words that devastate me, words that infuriate me, words that make me cringe, words that make me cry...Needless to say words affect me, not as much as actions, but words play a very significant part. 

I printed up some phrases that I feel like I need to remind myself of every day.  More like instructions. Sadly, I printed them up months ago and never hung them up or even thought much about them. Maybe if I put them on here I will look at them and be reminded of them.  Maybe saying that I didn't do anything with them will force me to hang them up, which was my original plan.  Maybe I'll do nothing with them...who knows!?! I feel like I need these words tattooed on my forehead so that I see them every time I look in the mirror.

My sayings may not be things that anyone else needs reminded of, but I do. I try my best to remember all of these things every single day, but I know I have days that I fail.

So I've decided that the first place I'm going to hang my reminders is here in my little corner :)



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Say a prayer

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FOCUS

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Inhale positive...exhale negative

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Count your blessings

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LIVE LIFE

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Extra weight...

So, I'm new at this! Have I ever posted a blog before? Sure, but I've never designed one and gone into this much detail with one.  So stick with me...

I have decided to start this crazy little thing to help me sort through things and to have an outlet.  I feel like I hold so much in lately and it's doing nothing but break me down.  I can't complain too much.  Things are really pretty good.  I have the same gripes as everyone else...debt, drama, and darn gas prices, but I still have things that weigh me down every single day.  I can't even pinpoint the things that get to me, but it is my hope that this little blog helps me shed these "pounds."

I'm at a point in my life that I've really started to look at myself and my life.  I feel like I just go through the motions every day with no destination in sight.  It is time for me to make a destination and get on the right plane to make it there.  Will there be turbulence? Obviously. This is life isn't it?

So that being said, this first blog is just my mission statement.  I need to make changes and the first change must start with me.  I leave you with the most fitting quote for me right now:

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -Anatole France